Blog Entry #1: Everyone Gets a Laptop Day!

J.A.W.S. firmly believes that uniformity and censorship of the nasty images floating around on the internet prove as the makings of a better life for our citizens. That being said, the leader of J.A.W.S. will be issuing new laptops to everyone. However, these are not your grandmother's laptops, easily harmed by evil viruses and malware. Contrarily, these laptops have been manufactured right here on the islands and assist its exclusive users (our lovely citizens of J.A.W.S.) in developing better digital literacy skills, as our program today begins with an hour long "digital literacy" workshop which focuses on how to utilize the full potential of this new computer's digital capabilities. Following the tutorial on digital, there is a follow up segment on digital etiquette: we don't like to see people getting flustered or frustrated here, so we believe it is vital to learn appropriate manners while using the computers. The issue of these new, protected laptops, will help family units connect better because even if the family is physically disconnected (i.e. if Dad went across the island for work) they can still be digitally connected through the handy video phone that comes standard on all computers. Since the use of the laptops is controlled, if the user is supposed to be doing work related, the computer will automatically close any programs open not pertaining to work. This way, our people are much more efficient managers of their time, not distracted by silly websites. Additionally, these new laptops come programmed with an educational agenda, and all school aged children learn the same lesson through the virtual learning program installed on the laptops. This eliminates the need to build schools, and every child can learn new things in their own homes. When the work and learning for the day is done, the fun begins! The laptops issued today come with everything a person needs to entertain themselves; pre-approved movies are already installed (these movies are appropriate for all ages) as well as extensive instructions for several exciting outdoor games. We hope the inhabitants of this blessed island will fully appreciate the value of these fully loaded laptops. Now, everyone can connect and no one will feel competitive or left out because the laptops are all the same!

posted by Kathryn Palmer